by Will Wavvy
email Will at willwavvy@hotmail.com
They say acceptance is the first step, so here it goes…
I have a problem and I need your help.
It started simply as doing the occassional favor, and then it went into steady trickin’. By the way, don’t believe that stupid line, “it ain’t trickin’ if you got it.”
It’s still trickin.
Now it’s turned into me being a full-fledged ho and honestly, I didn’t see it coming. Afterall, I’m Will Wavvy. I pimp. I don’t get pimped.
Well… at least I THOUGHT I don’t get pimped.
I began to come to that realization over Memorial Day Weekend. I’m in the store doing some shopping for myself, when I was reminded that before I treat myself I need to treat my pimp.
“I need to buy something; where’s your wallet”? demands my pimp.
“Huh? Maan, I know you’re not talking to me. I’m not giving you my wallet.”
“Oh that’s OK,” he says.
Then he calmly reaches in my pocket, pulls out my wallet, counts out $25 (who would’ve thought that a kindegartner knows how to count out $25), puts the money in his pocket, and hands me my wallet back as if he didn’t hear a word I said. I look at him, like he lost his damn mind and he simply says, “let’s go, I need to buy something.”
“Listen, I’m not going anywhere and you need to give me my money back,” I say.
I guess it was tough for him to hear me since he was walking away from me towards the toy section.
“I need a new game for my Leapster,” he says, and put one in the cart.
“Well I guess it’s OK, since you need it.”
“Umm, I also WANT a wolverine toy, abomination toy, and Xbox 360 game so I can get that booty.”
“Wait, so now you telling me what you need? No lil boy,” I say, and I really mean it, too.
He ignores me and looks for the stuff to put in the cart.
Now we’re at the point of no return. This is the point where I must be a renegade and let him know I make my own money and do with it as I please. I look him square in the eye with my “I mean business” look, put some bass in my voice, and told him…
“Maan, give me my money back.”
He got with the program and gave it back… while he was putting the toys in the cart.
Now if this was an isolated incident then it wouldn’t be a big deal. I could shake it off and chalk it up to temporary insanity. But this is just one of several, that I’ll share throughout this rehab process.
But I’m pleading with you.
Please help.
I feel ya!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s exactly why I stopped at ONE!! =)
Will Waavy,
I LOVE the voice, dialogue, and pacing of your your columns. Your columns remind me so much of Langston Hughes’ Simple Stories and your columns have the same effect on me: they make me grin and laugh out loud! Keep up the very fine work.
Pia I have to agree with you, Will Wavvy’s writing is mostdef where it’s at. F’real.
Thanks Pia, I appreciate it.