Just to be clear-I posted a general notice to the Lowell parent board because Rose doesn’t KNOW who all was making the comments after the interview went on-air. When you’re walking down the hall or at recess and someone yells something, it’s not always possible to know who’s doing so.

Nevertheless, we DID go to the administration about it, and Rose DID name those she could. It’s not possible to have private mediation sessions when you can’t name the catcallers in the halls.

However, what I said about taking a step back from attacking stands. It’s been clear from this blog and the general response from KUOW that many parents WERE in fact, attacking my daughter, and I’d venture a guess that some of the catcalls she heard were based on what those kids were hearing at home. I don’t think too many got up early to listen to the original broadcast at 6:30 am, do you? Where’d they hear about it in the first place?

Sable, thank you for putting up with me. I’m pretty much done responding now.

I wasn’t challenging you, just simply clarifying.

Donna, please understand: I do not blame Rose nor do I doubt her (read again where I tell my son to take her at her word).

It is horrendous when Rose and other children feel unworthy for who they are. Again, I do not fault Rose for sharing her experiences or telling the truth. My beef is with the adults involved.

I agree with you that parents are entitled to do what they want in such cases. I am simply arguing that some ways have better consequences, all around, for your child, my child, and for protecting and growing diversity at Lowell.

After the interview, when you went on the Lowell blog to ask us — all Lowell parents — to tell our kids to “stop harrassing Rose,” I was dumbfounded. I appreciate that you are angry and protective. But again . . . why not deal with the actual harassers, and talk to THEIR parents (names and emails are readily available) instead of a “blast ‘em all” attack, fomenting discord and suspicion and general wariness of you and Rose?

Using the process at Lowell for mediation between the particular kids allows their parents to know what is going on and get involved. It may not be as gratifying as collecting private grievances, but it is damned effective.

When my son was shaken down for cash by a black child last fall, we used the process and worked it out AS INDIVIDUALS, without Lowell’s black population being suspected of criminal activity, and without fomenting racial fears in general. I trust and admire this child and his parents. I hope they trust me. Kids make mistakes, and we are here to help them learn from them.

Rose is delightful — smart, strong, popular — and as I told your husband, she is a testament to your good parenting. I just disagree with your judgment in this issue.

To SV, thanks for allowing us to air our diverse opinions.

I leave you with this: if you go into a merge with TT Minor expecting that parents are not entitled to deal with their children’s exposure to prejudice and racism in their own way and BLAMING the children reporting it (or not), you won’t have a very successful merger.

Donna

IMHO, it was short-sighted to (1) tell Rose to expect racism at Lowell and to shrug it off, (2) to neglect to inform her teacher, the offender’s parents and the school, and (2) to allow Rose to be interviewed in the heated climate of school closings.

But all this has been said by others.

What has NOT been addressed is whether such “truth telling, but without names” is fair to my son and the other non-black boys at Lowell, specifically in Rose’s grade, who are now all suspect. Can anyone blame them for feeling bruised and wary?

My little boy — who like a lot of APP kids is very sensitive to injustice — wept when he heard the story, which of course was told and retold at school. He felt terrible for Rose. He also wondered why “Rose didn’t do the Lowell Way” by getting adult help. He pondered who in his class would say such things, and — because he couldn’t fathom any of his pals being so cruel — wondered if Rose had exaggerated. After all, it’s a kid thing to do. I asked him to take her word for it, and to report such a thing if he ever saw it. (Like many Lowell kids, he has been trained as a conflict mediator). He was not easy to console. He wished aloud that he was “not a boy” because males are responsible for “all the bad stuff.”

Well, I feel as protective of my son as Al and Donna are of Rose. This is not his burden to bear, and if it had been handled well, neither he NOR Rose would be still be hearing about it at school, but would be busy learning and playing and making friends.

We APP parents have an opportunity to avoid another Madrona (the APP cohousing that John Stanford ended because of the friction) and build something strong and healthy with TT Minor and Thurgard Marshall families — something that Seattle hasn’t seen before.

Let’s not walk into this expecting to fail, because we will find what we are looking for.

Let’s be honest, but let’s constructive. In the words of Obama, we’ll be valued for what we build, not what we destroy.