Editor’s note: There are various measurement methods being used across our state to determine how much, and for how long, snow has been falling here. Some have it at 6 days- others, like King County, have it at 11. We think bigger is better because it allows us to be more creative and dramatic.
Snowed in Diary Day 1:
Yay! It’s snowing in Seattle et al! Get the camera! Bake some cookies! Where’s the cocoa, eggnog and unabashed liquor?! Snow party time!
Snowed in Diary Day 2
A free day off! No meetings, no commute, no sharing cubicle space with the guy who hums all the damn time and smacks his food like it’s going out of style. Yay for snow! Break out the alcohol (again)!
Snowed in Diary Day 3
Hangover. The end.
Snowed in Diary Day 4
Dear diary. My buzz has been FOREVER killed, no pun intended. 2 charter buses in dtow/C-hill nearly bit it when they crashed into each other, smashed through the guardrail and almost plummited 25 feet to the very busy I-5 freeway below. Damn. Total. Party. Foul.
Snowed in Diary Day 5
It is official we are all in hell. A snowed in hell. It won’t stop snowing! Everytime I look out the window, it’s frikken snowing! I can’t find the mini-van, the children walk around with glazed expressions, the roads are impassible, and the damn Malls keep closing at 6:00!!! Whatthefuck?!
Snowed in Diary Day 6:
Still. Snowing. Life as we know it here has ended. The pantry is starting to look a bit lean, and little Timmy keeps giving me the rabid eye. Send reinforcements.
Snowed in Diary Day 7:
Fuck the picturesqe walks and photo ops. Fuck the snowball fights and sledding. Fuck all the creative alchoholic, holiday themed drinks and deserts. Bring on the GDamned RAIN and melt this bitch already!
Snowed in Diary Day 8:
All the dvd’s have been watched at least thrice. We’ve taken to throwing Boots, the indoor cat, outside in the deep snow and timing how long it takes him to run back inside.- purely for entertainment purposes only.
Snowed in Diary Day 9:
Warning: Rogue op details contained in this message. Keep it hidden, keep it safe.
Okay so, we’ve commandeered 8 City of Seattle dump trucks and 8 of their raggedy ass snow plows and we’re pushing all the snow to Mayor Nickel’s house, since he likes it so damn much. Punk. Betta watch yo self Greggy.
Snowed in Diary Day 10:
I’m burnin’ this damn thing right now…
Pingback: Snowed to delirium; Seattle et al « The Sable Verity
In a recently revealed back-room deal, Sarah Palin agreed to give interviews sounding like the world’s biggest idiot in exchange for allowing Alaska to annex Seattle, thereby securing the presidency for Barack Obama and giving Alaska some urban cred. “Ya know, I think Alaskan small town values will help that there place repent of its sinful ways and also,” Ms. Palin said in a statement released today by the Governor’s office. “We here in Alaska were tired of bein’ the national punchline, so we thought it might be kinda fun to give Seattle a turn in the spotlight. All that fancy hip music and coffee won’t clear yer streets now, will it?” Gov. Gregoire simply said, “The voters in Seattle have spoken.”
LOL!