Washington State Governor Christine Gregoire
“Maria, Greg, Ron, thanks for coming. I called this meeting because apparently, endorsing Obama wasn’t enough to give me a comfortable cushion with the voters.”
Seattle Mayor Greg Nickels
“People genuinely like Dino Rossi. It was a close one.”
Governor Gregoire
“Too close. I need to usher in change across the state. Let’s talk change in Seattle; thoughts?”
Mayor Nickels
“Make Seattle the music capitol of the world!”
Governor Gregoire
“You had the grunge thing. I said change, not more of the same. What else?”
Mayor Nickels
“I want to take dumpsters out of alleyways and put them inside the buildings.”
Governor Gregoire
“I’ll tell you what, you think about a bit more and I’ll come back to you. Ron, can you pay attention to the group and not your Blackberry?”
King County Executive Ron Sims
“I’m on Twitter, updating the people; there’s a train a comin’ Chris, just get on board.”
Governor Gregoire
“What’s the word on Seattle Schools Maria?”
Seattle Public Schools Superintendent Maria Goodloe-Johnson
“I plan to close schools.”
Governor Gregoire
“Wait, didn’t your predecessor close schools? I don’t recall that going well for him; that doesn’t sound like change either.”
Superintendent Goodloe-Johnson
“Can you revise Washington State’s public education funding and give us more money? That is change a lot of people can believe in.”
Governor Gregoire
“Let’s not get carried away. Besides, I endorsed Barack Obama.”
Superintendent Goodloe-Johnson
“What does that matter?”
Governor Gregoire
“Yes we can.”
Mayor Nickels
“Governor, quoting Obama and shamelessly advertising your endorsement will not make people like you more.”
Governor Gregoire
“Ron? Ron pay attention!”
Executive Sims
“I’m checking my friends’ status on Facebook.”
Governor Gregoire
“This technology thing is getting out of control Ron, seriously.”
Executive Sims
“You’re just jealous because I have more Facebook friends than you.”
Governor Gregoire
“I’m not even ON Facebook!”
Executive Sims
“And that saddens me.”
Governor Gregoire
“Greg, a tent city named Nickelsville? It’s embarrassing; you must have thought of solutions?”
Mayor Nickels
“My hope is that by adhering to the guidelines of the Kyoto Agreement, we will make the environment more conducive to the homeless in Seattle. It’s all about job creation and rebuilding our economy.”
Governor Gregoire
“I’m just curious, what news publications do you read to get your information?”
Mayor Nickels
“All of ‘em, any of ‘em. You know, whatever I can get my hands on. You betcha!”
Governor Gregoire
“Ron, I’m starting to lose my patience, what is that thing?”
Executive Sims
“This is so cool; it takes pictures and then automatically uploads them to flickr. Now everyone can see pictures of us. You might want to smile Chris, it’s the internet.”
Mayor Nickels
“Hey I want one! Does it come in green?”
Governor Gregoire
“Maria, the district allows south Seattle families to send their children to school in the north end? Aren’t north Seattle schools overcrowded, while south Seattle schools are under enrolled?”
Superintendent Goodloe-Johnson
“Yes, but south end schools suck.”
Governor Gregoire
“What about students still in south end schools?”
Superintendent Goodloe-Johnson
“Pardon?”
Governor Gregoire
“What are you going to do to improve the conditions of schools in the south end?”
Superintendent Goodloe-Johnson
“I don’t understand the question.”
Governor Gregoire
“Whatever happened to honoring diversity, tackling the achievement gap and institutionalized racism?”
Superintendent Goodloe-Johnson
“Closing more schools in the south end will help eliminate diversity, thereby eliminating the achievement gap and institutionalized racism. Those families can move to Renton. It’s a win-win situation.”
Governor Gregoire
“Greg, is it true you tried to cut funding for community advocates?”
Mayor Nickels
“Absolutely.”
Governor Gregoire
“But community advocates are community organizers. Obama was a community organizer. What gives?”
Mayor Nickels
“Community organizers see Seattle differently than the rest of us, and they pal around with unrepentant domestic terrorists.
Governor Gregoire
“By “terrorists”, you are referring to—”
Mayor Nickels
“The feed-the-hungry-shelter-the-homeless-affordable-healthcare-for-all socialists.”
Superintendent Goodloe-Johnson
“Don’t forget parents and families, with their picket signs, petitions, statistics and catchy call and response chants.”
Mayor Nickels
“They’re vicious thugs.”
Governor Gregoire
“I need us to focus on change, remember? Now Greg, what about the homeless?”
Mayor Nickels
“We’ll use the parks levy to do some upgrades on the outdoor accommodations.”
Governor Gregoire
“Why not lease a few empty buildings from Maria?”
Superintendent Goodloe-Johnson
“Absolutely not! That’s all prime real estate. Where do you think they’re going to put all the overpriced condos?
Governor Gregoire
“Point taken. What about the violence in the South end?”
Mayor Nickels
“I like Maria’s idea; deplete their resources and keep the cost of living high; they’ll move and take the violence to Renton. Now that’s what I call a solid neighborhood plan.”
Governor Gregoire
“Oh for Pete’s sake! Maria get back in your seat, and Ron, turn that darn laptop off this instant!”
Executive Sims
“Sorry Chris, Maria asked me to pull up the Nordstrom’s catalogue.”
Governor Gregoire
“We’re running out of time. Maria, didn’t I read a report that said the district could save money by trimming the fat in management?”
Superintendent Goodloe-Johnson
“It’s taken care of. We signed all district employees up at 24-hour Fitness.”
Governor Gregoire
“How do you intend to involve families and students in the school closure process?”
Superintendent Goodloe-Johnson
“We’ve scheduled community forums for the last two weeks of December.”
Governor Gregoire
“But everyone is on vacation then.”
Superintendent Goodloe-Johnson
“Really? Pity. I just found the cutest pair of pumps.”
Hahahha! That’s too funny! Looks like I’m going to have to come out West and have my girl do some shoe shopping with the Superintendent. That would be a memorable experience for both of them.
Fantastic!